blog
on this page, there will be mentions of bodily and mental health that are unfiltered and may be disgusting/triggering. it's also sort of a diary.
this is not a self-improvement blog.
entries
july 6 2026 / monday 
craving alcohol so bad. i officially have no more left and no way to get any. it's all i want rn and the withdrawals are awful. i would do ANYTHING to get some but i know for a fact i can't get away with stealing from the store.
on a more positive note, i was able to poop multiple times yesterday and today without using any laxatives (though i did drink prune juice). i was scared of this blockage causing a bowel perforation but my anxiety has gone down a bit.
i woke up at 1:00PM today. i haven't been getting to sleep early but at least i'm sleeping at all.
july 12 2026 / sunday 
i woke up at 4:00PM today... not happy about that. i really need to fix my sleep schedule. but to be fair, i have been taking benadryl lately for my allergies.
july 16 2026 / thursday 
period cramps... ugh... i'm dying. even though i got an iud to make my periods less painful they still manage to defeat me.
i really wish i had some chocolate right now.
july 28 2026 / tuesday 
i've been able to drink recently and i feel SO GOOD. i feel the best i've felt all month. totally not concerning at all!!!!!!! i'm drunk as i'm writing this entry. also i know i haven't updated this in a bit. honestly got kinda less excited about a blog dedicated to my personal issues that nobody rlly cares about. and i'm kinda gross so that makes it even worse. but i guess i don't mind having a page that shows the harsh reality of chronic illness and substance abuse. i feel like i should say this: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
july 31 2026 / friday 
9:00AM right now. that's good!!! i'm glad i could wake up early and get to work instead of just going back to bed lol i've been considering reworking this website. but i really need to work on the other pages i've been planning to make.
health-wise, i've been doing not so good lately. my chronic pain has been even worse recently. i really wanna be more athletic but it's like everything makes me hurt so bad. especially in this heat :/ for context, i have chronic joint pain and chronic migraines/exertion headaches. i don't want that to stop me though. i wanna do a sport and have fun. i may not be able to be super serious about sports but i can at least try one casually. i hope i can join a club for volleyball in college or something. also remind me never to write on here when i'm drunk again. drunk me is so corny.
august 2 2026 / sunday 
i have been in a lot of pain recently. pain meds make me sleepy so like. i haven't been working on this site a lot. all i've been doing is reading... stuff. :)
my health is deteriorating and for my chronic constipation, i was put on linzess. the only issue is i'm like in the 2% of people that vomit when they take linzess. TMI INCOMING let me tell you that vomiting while you shit on the floor uncontrollably is not fun at fucking all. at least i pooped??? it was really fucking awful. oh and i had to get an at-home enema a couple days ago lmao. also if you get off to this stuff please don't let me know man i don't. really care.
assuming there are people that care about this site, i will still be working on it little by little. but i'm gonna take a break from updating it. i'm still playing acnl if you like my acnl diary.
i also wanna make a media log page for new horizons but i wanna take a different approach to it. new horizons is kinda more popular with the aesthetics crowd so i guess i could make a photo gallery for it. oh and i'm working on shrines :) which i've always wanted to do.
this is kind of a long entry.